Everything I own now fits in my car.
This statement kind of makes me want to puke up the berry smoothie I just had.
But it also makes me feel the way Wendy Darling must have felt as the clouds parted and she spotted Never Neverland for the first time. Equal parts thrilled and terrified, slightly lost but ready to embark on an incredible adventure.
Everyone keeps asking me how I feel about my new life change, but it’s hard to put into words. It’s a nervous excitement, tinged with fear of the unknown, but sweetened with the conviction that this is 100% the right direction for my life to take.
Since last year, when I decided to take a break from my TV career and travel full time, I’ve managed to shed most of my possessions – including an entire storage unit full of furniture and home goods, most of my beloved book collection, even my Harry Potter memorabilia…..(that’s a lie, I actually kept that stuff).
I’ve been living out of just a couple suitcases, staying in a friend’s guest room while in LA and skipping around the country for work. A few weeks ago, I drove my beloved ’99 Honda CR-V Enrique from Los Angeles to my parents house in Texas so they could keep an eye on him while I’m gone.
It was insane to see all the boxes crammed into the back of Enrique – everything I have to my name. I gasped a little bit when I realized this: I’ve been living and working over a decade in LA, working my ass off to move up in the tv industry, living, loving, laughing, striving, getting my heart broken and learning more and more about myself each day….and all of that now physically adds up to about 8 boxes and a handful of suitcases shoved in Enrique’s trunk.
What’s more bizarre is soon I’ll be lugging around even less. In just under a month, I leave for a life of full-time wanderings. With just a backpack.
I feel like I’m in training to live with less. I’ve been saving my money aggressively these last few months, putting much more thought than ever before into what to eat for lunch, should I buy this new tank top, can I afford a fancy dinner this month, do I need these concert tickets.
However, I recognize I still have so much more than most people on this earth do, and my gratitude swells in ways it never did before. The less I have, the more I feel like I have. I cherish what I own and appreciate my disposable income more than when I was thoughtlessly spending it on shit I didn’t need or really want for that matter. I look for opportunities to spend my money on experiences, helping others and avenues for personal growth.
Because I’m now using my money on achieving the freedom lifestyle I’ve always dreamed of, I feel richer than I ever have.
I’m achingly aware that I’m so close to the end of steady paychecks and being tethered to a contract, which is more than a little terrifying. But yet, I’m committed to consciously untethering myself a little more every day.
I can’t help but worry that I’m taking too big a risk.
But it’s too late to turn back now. Adventure is calling, and I really don’t need any useless crap to answer that call.
Just enough to fill my backpack and send me on my way.